Aziz Ansari

“I grew up in South Carolina. I think growing up down there has made me always kind of fascinated by red state thinking. Like, I don’t have a problem with gay marriage, but I love reading arguments against gay marriage. I find them really fascinating. This is my favorite one of all time, it’s from this guy named Senator John Cornyn, from Texas. This is his argument against gay marriage, I’m not making this up. He goes, ‘Now, if your neighbor marries a box turtle, that doesn’t affect your everyday life. But that doesn’t mean it’s right.’ What? What an interesting nugget of wisdom that is. Now, I myself was not a psychology major, but I think it’s pretty safe to assume at one point or another, Senator John Cornyn’s thought about makin’ love to a box turtle. ‘Cause, uh, I’m sorry, but that’s not the first animal you jump to, when you’re writing that analogy.”

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