Review: The Average American Male by Chad Kultgen

According to Chad Kultgen, a USC graduate, the “average” American male is twenty degrees beyond oversexed and utterly disingenuous. The majority of the book is composed of the narrator’s vulgar and obscene fantasies of every female he encounters; even a girl with a hair-lip whom he and his buddy Todd call Scarface, and even while he stands in line with his girlfriend for Gwen Stefani’s autograph. The rest of it is the narrator’s incredible inability to commit to either of his girlfriends, Casey or Alyna – the former with the “fat” ass. Even with Alyna, the one with the “perfect” ass, the narrator finds himself torn between wanting to be single all his life or to “bite the marriage bullet.”

Objectively, the narrator is just a real scum bag. Every other sentence is a fantasy about a different woman, either an ex-girlfriend or a random woman he encounters on the street. He is dishonest with both Casey and Alyna, and in turn with himself – dishonest about how he feels, or what he wants to do, or whether he’s happy or not. He hardly speaks more than 10 words in the entire book, usually keeping his impure thoughts to himself.

In my opinion, perhaps naive or premature, I don’t think Kultgen truly captures the average American male. The average guy I encounter or that I am friends with is not as stupid or as disrespectful to women as the story’s narrator. But even through all his b.s., Kultgen writes an entertaining, funny, albeit inappropriate story about a dude interpreting and navigating through intimate relationships with women he’ll never truly understand.


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